


Sanders Sides As Things Stupid People In My Friend Group Have Said. (Your Welcome.)

by fanderismeh



Series: "Making the world more gay!" says Patton while shooting rainbows into the sky [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Background Dr. Emile Picani, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Dark Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), Everyone Is Gay, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I want some food, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Nico flores - Freeform, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Virgil Is A Smart Boi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24786757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanderismeh/pseuds/fanderismeh
Summary: So, I originally made this Before but I actually deleted it because imma clumsy little piece of garbage. Yes, I had to start over. Also, i will try to update this every week.Ì̴̫ ̵̻͛ĝ̵͇u̵̖̓e̵̦͐s̷͔̅s̷̜̅ ̵̠͑t̸͕̓h̵̻́ḯ̵̹s̶͍̊ ̴̼̔ï̵̥s̶͔̅ ̴̪̐j̶̛̘u̴̻̐s̸̟̔t̴̤̓ ̶̜́s̷̙͝ậ̵ņ̷͝d̶̠̆e̶̮͑r̸̡̆š̵̭ ̷̺̇s̴̙̀i̶̯̊d̷̻͝e̸̞̍š̸͖ ̵͇̎i̸̳͌n̸̪̏c̵̞̋ó̵̞r̸̙̉r̶͎͒e̵̥̔c̷̣̅t̷̨̿ ̴̒ͅq̴͇̓u̸̒ͅo̴͓̿t̷͔̀e̸̪͋s̴̭̄ ̶̗͝
Series: "Making the world more gay!" says Patton while shooting rainbows into the sky [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684387
Comments: 388
Kudos: 122





	1. IM BACK, BITCHES!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hai. I am back. DID YOU MISS ME?????

Virgil: I AM READY TO FIGHT GOD OR DIE TRYING!!!! 

Logan: *Logan.exe has stopped working*

Patton: What the fwuh?

Janus: Virgil beat Logan in a game of chess.

Patton: Oh.

\- - -

Logan: What state are you in? 

Remus: ChInA?

\- - -

Virgil: Existence is resistance.

Roman: What’s that supposed to mean?

Remus: If you exist, you resist!


	2. REMUS IS A SMART BOI

Remus: People are like eggs.

Logan: Explain.

Remus: *Holds up a brown and a white egg* We may be different colors on the outside but.. *Remus cracks the eggs and points at the yolks* we are all thee same color on the inside.

Janus: That actually might be the smartest thing you have ever said.


	3. I AM SO MENTALLY SLEEP DEPRIVED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Da bois ask a good question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I am not ok .

Roman: *sleep deprived for one day* If masks work, why the social distancing?

Remus: *sleep deprived for three days* If social distancing works, why the masks?

Virgil: *sleep deprived for two weeks* if they both work, why the lockdown?

Logan: Some questions just aren’t meant to be answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the real question tho! I WANT ANSWERS!!!! (the “YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!” blooper just went thro mah head lol)


	4. LET ME FEEL YOU RIDE IT! 🚗

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B a g e l

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥯

Virgil: *Fighting with Roman* ..WHAT DO YOU THINK I GET OUT OF THIS?!?

Janus: * Appears from behind Virgil with a bagel in his hand* 

Roman: A bagel?

Virgil: What the hell? No!

Janus: Ooh. Was this a bad time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Janus. Why is verge so mean to him? ;-;


	5. BACK AT IT WITH SOME CROFTERS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOES THIS PHONE SERIOUSLY NOT HAVE A JAM EMOJI?!? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!

Patton: Hey Logie, can you spell bomb?

Logan: B-o-m-b.

Roman: What with the B at the end?

Janus: I don’t know. English is weird.

Virgil: *sleep deprived* _**English robs other languages in dark corners and pockets them for spare grammar and vocabulary.**_

Remus: That makes sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it wrong that I have a collection of Crofters bottles?


	6. VERY MUCH LEGITNESS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was what the bois were doing in SvS Redux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vine reference, anyone?

Remus: *Drinks a whole bottle of vodka without getting drunk*

Virgil: *Drunk as fuck* ThAt wAs LEGITNESS!

Roman: *Also drunk* YeAh It wAs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Remus: Who needs drugs, I'm high on life!


	7. Roman: WOMEN ARE QUEENS! Remus: If she breaths she’s a THOT!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We should start saying “If she breaths, she’s a square!” when we don’t know what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #LolBeans,MyFriends

Patton: Welp, you know what they say: “If she breaths, she’s a square.”.

Virgil: WuT?

Logan: I think he means “If she breaths, she’s a thot.”

Patton: What’s a thot?

Everyone else: NOTHING!!

Remus: Well actually, a thot is-

Roman: *Hits him in the head with the hilt of his sword* SHUT UP!

Remus: Ow!

Janus: *Dragging Remus out of the room* C’mon, we can start unnecessary drama later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm, uhh, Idk what to say so... "If she breaths, she's a square"?


	8. Ok ITS THROWBACK TIME!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So if you read the original post of this you will recognize all of these quote. Ahhh the memories!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ÙwÚ

Roman: What did I miss? What did I miss? Virginia my home sweet home-

Janus: Roman. We live in Florida.

\---

Remus: Mushroom dance. Mushroom dance. What ever could it mean?

Virgil: It means you've lived a life of S̸̖̞̙̥̏Ì̴̫̌̌͗Ṇ̸̢͔͘.

\---

Logan: Can I get a "Can some one please listen to me?" meal?

McDonald's : Why can't you just get a happy meal?

Logan: Because feelings are invalid.

\---

Virgil: *Calls Dominos*

Dominos: Hi, thanks for choosing Dominos! How many I help you?

Virgil: Yeah..um..can I get the phone number Pizza Hut?

Dominos: *Hangs up on him*

Virgil: *Throws his phone* THOSE FUCKERS HUNG UP ON ME!

Roman: *Laughs*

\---

Remus: If you could be anything, what would you be?

Roman: An only child

\---

Virgil: Congrats! You passed the test!

Janus: What test?

Virgil: The asshole test!

Janus: *Offended snek noises*

\---

Virgil: *On the roof with Roman, Patton, and Remus* THE CORONA VIRUS IS COMING!!!

Roman: WHERE IS YOUR FACE MASK?!?

Patton: IF YOUR WINDOW IS OPEN,

Remus: CLOSE IT!!!

Virgil: THE CORONA VIRUS IS COMING!!!

Roman: THE CORONA VIRUS IS COMING!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets make a continuous quote in the comments!


	9. R̶͉̳̼̲̱̈̀Ȩ̵̹̣̮̭̈́M̸͈͍̭̣̬͑̽͑̀͘Ủ̶̟͆̈́̕S̶̞̆̄̄̆̅͘͝ ̵̢̡̭̦̦̖͐̇̓̀̃͠ͅͅT̴̹̼̙͋͂͑̂̾̕ͅH̵̘͖͔͋̿͊̿̑̿͠ͅǪ̸̼̝͋̄

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok I thought of this at one am sooooooooo enjoy!

Thomas: *Sits on his bed* Ok no dark sides here. *Looks up*

Remus: *On the ceiling* H̵͔̙̳͐ȉ̷̮̊,̴̬̲͈̂̈́͘T̷̗̳̣̎̚o̵̡̘̞̓̎̓m̴̤͈̮̆̑a̶̬̮͌̉͜t̵̜̤̿͛͝h̸̔̑͜͝y̵̘̺̪͛̂͐!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this theory that when Remus gets bored he will climb onto the ceiling and follows the others around. It makes sense, ok?


	10. 🦋

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y u m m y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU I got concussed! Yay!

Remus: * Holding a butterfly * I wonder how a butterfly would taste!

Logan: They don’t taste good.

Remus: How do you-

Logan: I gave you an answer. That’s all you get.

Patton: * concerned dad noises *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A List of things that aren’t supposed to be eaten but taste good:
> 
> 1\. Lotion. Just lotion.
> 
> 2\. Toothpaste.
> 
> 3\. Eggshells. Mmmmmm!
> 
> 4\. Perfume. It tastes good at first but then it has a weird aftertaste.
> 
> 5\. Human. The blood is the best part ngl
> 
> Comment a P.O.V. plz. I need a reason the be antisocial


	11. IT'S BEEN SO LONG. SO. LONG.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven't been posting that often. I've been stuck with my perverted twin while studying so I can pass a test and skip a grade. My summer has been packed so I don't have that much free time. Life sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be addicted to this font.....

Remus: What's yellow and unable to swim?

Patton: A bee?

Remus: No!

Patton: Then what is it?

Remus: Ǎ̞̤̙̬̩̣̞̿̃ͪ͢ ̢̼̩̟͚͆̄s͐҉̠̭̰̻͇c̰̼̞̞̩̖̃́͡h͍͎̓̆̔̚͘o̤͈̙̗͉̘̗͈͗̊͝ò̶̠͎̲ͥͬͅl͙̳̹͕͕͔ͨͧ͘ͅ ͈̪͔͖ͭͨ̌͑͡b̵͖͇̻̺̫̭͚ͯͯ̽ͅụ̣͇̗̄ͬ͢s̵̪͓̥͗̽͌̅ ̻̱̙̞͙̞͖̘̒͊̊f̼͕̋̕ͅȕ̦̮̠̤̤̖͎̅ͤͅl̬̣̼͇̺̀͒͘l̾̏ͧ͛͏̱̬̠̻͉̟̗ ̷̲̝̯ͮͭ̈o̙̤̦̝͎̾͡f͚͚͍̦ͮ̋̒͛͝ ͙̦̭̹͍ͮ͡ d̵̡̛̳̙̳̣͓̝̪̦̞̱͖͚͕̮̄͒͆͌̌̓r̷̳̙͎͚̺̲̣̼͔̘͕̞̓̉̅õ̷̟̮̘͈̺̤͘w̶̨̛̮͕̜̺͍̪̣̻͉̓̏͆̈̑͂̔́̈̚ň̵̗̿̀͐̋̾̓̐͋͠i̵̬̘̣̅͊n̸̨̬͍̜̱̟̰̈̈́̔͂̓͌̆́̇͗̒̅̓̐͝ͅg̴͖͙̩̤̝͈̤̈͋̎̈́̾̎̎̎̂͆̂͒̈́ c̜͙̘ͯ͌͘h̘̩̪̼̦͇̦̪ͧ̄̆͢i̹̮ͧ̏ͯ̌͢l̒҉͎̠̠̺͕̰̦d͙̠̣̩̒ͯ͂͜r͙͉̜͚̳ͤ̀͟e̲̣̘͆ͫ̅̅͜n͚̜̍͜

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No🚫 Effing😡 way🙌 dude😎! Who❔ broke💢 this⬇ vase🏮? Who❔ broke💢 this⬇ vase🏮? Seriously😡 guys😀 , everyone😑 here⬇ at @ my😊 awsome 😎 party 🎉 (this⬇ huge⚠ group👯 of ⛔ people👨 thats⬇definitely✅ here⬇ right ✅ now⏳ ) Somebody❔ broke💢 my 😊 grandma's 👵 vase 🏮


	12. I Feel like exposing myself about something....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like this quote 
> 
> Sorry I haven't updated in a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should i expose myself about something?

Roman: *texting Virgil* So, where are you from?

Virgil: *texting Roman* Australia.

Roman: ¿ɹǝʇʇǝq sᴉɥʇ sI ˙ʎɹɹos ɥO

Virgil: .sʞuɐɥʇ ʻsǝ⅄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT WON'T LET ME TYPE "Y" UPSIDE DOWN!


	13. The one chapter i don't feel like naming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo, i may have a slight obsession with the font....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh yes. The one time a month that i update this.

Remus: *Vertigo* I just inhaled a whole bottle of febreze. 

Patton: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Remus: A better question is "W̵h̴y̸ ̸a̵m̷ ̴I̵ ̸s̶t̸i̸l̸l̶ ̷a̷l̷i̴v̴e̸"?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f̶͍̅r̸̥̒ȅ̶͔b̴̻̏r̸̬̀e̶͍͝z̵͕̅ë̶̡́ ̵̫͝f̶̬̎i̶̟͠g̵̼͂h̴̗̾t̷̘̉


	14. 891420: 6121523519

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1415 315131351420

Virgil: As a wise person once said, "There's no "I" in "Happyness".

Logan: There is if you spell it correctly. 

\---

Patton: What do we do?

Remus: Here's an idea: Put on a green morph suit, break into a news studio, and harass the weather man. No one at home will know why he's freaking out.

Janus: ...And how exactly does that help us fix Virgil's headphones?

Remus: ...

Patton: ...

Remus: It doesn't?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know i spelt it wrong


	15. Patton is such a mood ngl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is my birthday. Ḑ̵̘̀̈́́O̶̼̲͊̇N̶̨̼͎̞̚'̷͇̾̕ͅͅT̵͙̔̉ ̷̰̔Y̸̢̗͖̰͠Ò̸̺̱̦͐U̶̼͕̔ ̴̗̫̻̜̏̓Ḏ̸̦̘͓̃A̶̡͇R̸̭͝ͅÈ̵̡̖̙̠ ̴͓̟̞̆̍͒̚S̵̡̖̭̬̔͒̄A̸̤̯͂̾̈Y̵̩̭̆ ̴̙̩̉́̒̔A̷̹̮̘̰̒̉̀̈́N̷̛̖͊̈́̑Y̵̫̓T̶̗̞̓̍̈́͜͝H̸̨̨̩̉̍̋͘I̸͔̊͒̆N̵͚͋͌̚Ģ̷̞̺͝ ̶̡̧̥̅A̵̡̬̐Ḃ̷̗̬͎O̸̯̦͛͝͝Ư̷̮̫̈̂͘T̷͚͖̿ ̸̗̱̑Į̸̨͇̥̿T̸̫̞̹̬͋͋͐̍.̸̘̳̈́̎ͅ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehh....i only posted this because it was relatable at the moment, not cause i wanted too.
> 
> BTW, i feel like ruining your day so here's a fact that makes me uncomfy:
> 
> S̵̘͒̈́O̷̖͐͘Ụ̶̳̺̏̔̂́P̴̥͈̜̀̂͂͝ ̶̼͇̌̇͋͝I̵̛̛̜͘̕Ŝ̴̋͜ ̴̢̞̌̏V̴̡̪̪̟̉̊̍̎Ē̷͕͗Ģ̵̟͉͋T̵̘̈Å̴͈͓̖͍̿͂̓B̸̬̝̈́̈́͆L̵̜̹̔̃̈́E̵̘͇̊̈́͠ ̴̬͍͈̻̐̋̋Č̶̲̣̖͇E̴̞̤̯͚̎R̵̬͉͓̟͂E̵̯̅̌̆A̵͕̮̾͜͝L̶̢͙̉

Logan: Patton, you wore that outfit yesterday.

Patton: Yeah, i know, but, this is the only outfit i can wear right now that prevents me from being constantly aware that i exist in a "physical" body.

Roman: ...

Virgil: Are you ok,.... dad?

Patton: **_No._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am i aware that this is only one quote? Yeah.
> 
> Am i going to post agin later? Maybe?


	16. Apple sause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, but, who else misses f L e X t A p E?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once i spent five minuets trying to insert a ripped ten dollar bill into a cash machine.

Roman: *a cashier* That will be $5.00.

Remus: *hands him a wet $5.00 bill* Here.

Roman: Why is it wet..?

Remus: _**I fell in a lake.**_

Virgil: *laughs*


	17. If you can’t tell, I’ve already given up on this series

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is another repost from the other one got deleted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So y’all know how I’ve been suffering from writers block for, like, the last five months anyways, I had a stupid idea to all post my unfinished drafts instead of a story . Would any of you read it if I did that?

Remus during D.W.I.T: P̷̢̧̧̨̨̡̧̲̠̫̜̹̖͚̖͓̣̰̠͍̤͚̘͔̩͈̝͖̱̝̹͈̼̪̜̟̟͎̥͔̳̙̣̮̭͚̭̝͕̭̱̱̤̭͙̩̬̬̦̬̓̽̋̈̈́̌̈́͌̀́͘̚͜ę̶̡̧̢̢̡̛̛̛̰̞͓̙̪̹͍̲̭̣̫̺͔͇̱̼̖̠̹͛͐̓̌͐̂̓͒́̋̀͑̑̔͆̏̀̀̉̌̎̿́͗̀͑̉̔́̈̍͌͒́̂̆̊̿̒̊͌̿̔̂́́̓͌̑̀̔̂̋̂͆͘͘͘͘͘̕̚̚̚̚͘͜͝͠͝͠ͅa̸̡͓͓̙͓̳̰̮̓͆̄̒͆̈́̊̒̈̐̅͛̔̑̈́̌͂͂̅̄̂̋͌̈́͗̓̈͘͝ͅc̸͍̝͚̥̬͍̹̗̯̣̟̜͓̲̳͚̞͖̤͓̝͈̯͎̼̜̯̺̭͈̬̻̞̭̆̆̈́̀̉̾̈́̓̈̉͛̈́͜͝ͅͅe̴̛̹̭̫̮̗͎̓̀͌͌̾́̈͑̏̄͆̕͘͝͠ ̶̨̢̡̨̡̛̛͕̰̬͕̖̺͔̘̳̲̜͕̜̬̰̩̝̮̦̠̺̯̗̣̼̤̟̰͖̥̝̩̦͇͉͖͉̺͙͍͔̮̗͉̻̜̜̼̊́̏̈́̈̌̒̔̄́̂͑͗̏̅͊̔̉̇̌͆̂͑̂̔͆͗̉͗̅̒͌̈́̓̓̓̈́̎̏̔̓͗̓̇͘͘̚͜͜͜͠͝w̷̢̢̡̢̢̢̛̝̭̖̰̥͖̜̦̟̖̹̞͉̥̘͔̰̥͇̲̩̰̳̬̼̯̺̬͕̞̮̰̜̭̮̻̳͕̣̦̩̰̮̬̰̺̩͙͖̖̙̺̠͒̇̔̎͋͛̒͐͒́̒͋̾̈́̓̓͐͆̎͑́̀́̇͐̍̈́̇̆̀͂̿͑̿̊̿͊̊̄̽̐͌̂͂̕̚͘͜͜͜͜͠͝ạ̶̧̧̡̢̧̢̛̛̭̪͙̮̥̹̞̘̞̫̭͓͖̹̣̟̺͈̰͌̌́̏̓̇̿̾̈́̈́̾̔̏̍̾͒̃͂̋̄̐͐̒͛̏̀̉͑͐̈́̾̽͂͂̾͗̀̿̔̂̽̒͂́̿́̄͋̈́͐͗͗̑̓̾͗̅̎̐̔͐̄͘̕͘͜͠͝͝ͅs̸̢̨̢̢̡̧̧̡̡̛̛̛͇͖̬̮̻̳͍̯̗͙͉̺̦̫̯̰̭͕̤̮̙̭̱̣͇͎̳̠̩͓̤̜̼̳͓̜͙̖͙̼͕̙͉̹̯̜̮͔͇͖̭͈̟̹̜̺̗͓̺̝̖̞͈̱̪͈͋͛̀͛͒̈́́̊̇̀̔͋̈́̎̋̎͒̉̒̔̌̈́́̇̋̈́͑͑̓̂̿̍̕̕̕͜ͅ ̴̡̧̡̢̨͇͉̻̩͖̬̦̯̘̗͇͍̼͔̣͇̝͔̩͇͇̳̞̳̯͔̝͇̮͙̫͈̜̺̪̲̬̦̭͚̫̠͍͎̅̍̒͆͋͆͛͒͛̍̍̏̚͜͜͝͠ņ̸̢̩͎͉̘͙̣͕̥̫̜̗̖͉̺͎͉͔̙̙̥̹̖͂͆̓̐̅̀̾̀͑͆̍̾̌̋̇̽͗̇̓̀̐̐̎̉͂̏̕͜͠͝͝ͅe̵̢̨̧̡̧̢̪͉͈̭̩͖̙̦͕͇̙̮̱̼̩̩͈̲̞͉̺̯̙̭̥̬̙̖̼͔̲̠̞̣̯͇͍̼͙͖̯̟̗̦̣̼̬̼̗̰̼̲̜̪̣̪̞̗̗̺̻̅̽̌̋̏͗̈́̄͒̃̊̀̓̓̂̋̑̃̈́̏͊̕̕͜͜͜͝͝ͅv̶̛̛͓̂̔̾̔͑̌̅͊́̅̃͆̋̏͂̈́̒̀̾̽̄̇̑̍̓̉̓̂͗̒̀͆̋̓̽̍͊͑̒̕̕̚͘͝͠͝͠͝ę̷̛̫͈̼͕̜͙͓͍̤̞̱̫͇͖͈͓̓̐̉͐̑̇͂͑͐͒͊̍̿̐̔̏̑̓̽͊̐͆͐̌̊́̋͂̀̊̈̈́͒́̀̽̾͑̔́̓͗̉̾̌̓́̒̂͂̐͐̓͆̆̏̓͛͂̕͘̚r̴̛͖̄̓̔͗̑̋͂̈͒̐̆̓̄͛̀̀̄̉͊̆̃͊̈́͒̓͋̾́̾̑̀̓̏̊̑̂̊̀̓̋͛́̆̀̎̌͂̑̂̀̓̄̉́́͗̈́̈́͋̄̕͘̕̚͘͝͝͠͠͝ͅ ̷̧̛͍̑͑̓̊̏̀̈́͐́͆͛̏̉͌͌̔͂̈́͊̑̏̀̊̓̇̈̌̇̄̒̎͊͛̆̽͊̓́͌́̇̎̽̈́̈́͛͋̄̓͐̐̑̑͘͘̚̕̚͝͝͝͝ą̵̡̛̛̛̛̻̦͔̳̬͔̘̲̹̯̤̞͇̺̥̞͍͍̪̥̝͚͉͕̯͚̥̠̤̮͓̣̼̗̙̲̙̄̋̒̀̆̀̃̃̈̆̉̊͑́́̂̆͋̐͆̈́̐̊̆̑̽̈́̈̾̈́̌̔̒̐̈́̅͐̉̃̋͐̎͂̍͐͆̄̀̌̄̀̀͋̈́͑̚̚̕̚̚͝͝͠ͅͅn̴̢̨̧̢̨̛͈͈̰̣͓̳͓̦̘̟̼̩̰̰̟̬̣̰̞̫̣̠̦͔͕̹̥̗̬̳͚̗̱̥̼̟͈̞̯̥̼̺̼̙̰̻̱͉̳͚̫̣̱̊̓̈̃̆̀̍̋̃̈̑̀͑͋̀̌͐̓̎͆̇̍̑͑͑͆͐̋̓̾͂͊̄̀̀̈̅͂̈̉̓̎́͋̉̆̑͌̚̚͜͝͠͝͠͠͠͝ͅ ̴̢̘̩̥̗̱͇̪̼̠̲̜͙̮͔̑͑̊͒̈́̅̏̆̀̈̋̎͌̇̈́͆̾̇̾́̑̆̔̑̂͋̍̽͒̐͜͜͠ō̵̧̧̰͍̗̬̘̺͉̺̹̮̻̖̣̖͓̭̳̬̰̩͇̱͈͌̌̂͑̾̅̀͆̑̉̓͝͠p̴̡̢̡̨̭͚̟̹̠̬͕̜̱̦̯̞͓̼͍͙͚͎͖͈̙͇̈̃͋̑̽̂̈́̈́͑̓͋͛̅̊̂̇̈́̽́͒̊͗́̊͐̃̋̓̓̊͋̂̌̈́̈́̽̇͂̾͛́̚̕͝͝ͅt̷̛̛̩͖̘̘̓̓̈̐̈̀̄͑̓͑́̀̓͂́̑͐͑͐̐̀̍͂͆͋͛̆̃̈̿̑̌̐̽̔̆̿̚͘͠͠i̵̡̢̧̢̛̛̗̱̩̼͇̗͉̭̳̪̞̫͚͈̦̭̝̭̠̺̲͖̲̟͎̖̫̦̗͚͓̳̦̣̪̲̲̲̤̪̠͔̪̦͍̭̮͊̑̐̂͛͛̀͋̊̏͊̿̀́̐̐͐̋̃̽͗̀̓̃̂̓̊͐͑̈̆̀̾̅̋̔̅̏̉̄̀͒̅̄͌͛͊̊͂̾̐̅̒̊̌̑̉͐̀̾̏̕̚͘̕͘̚͘̕͠͠͝͠ͅͅͅǫ̴̢̨̛̤̳̖̙̦̲̪͔̱̬̺̻̼̭̝̺͙͇̫̼̹̯͚̞̟̪̽̅͆̍͐̿̕ͅņ̸̨̧̡̛̙͈͈̞̝͍̻̳͓̮̮̭̰͉̣̲̣͕̉̌̀̾̀͐̈́͂̈́́͌͐̈́͆̏͒́̾̋͗̄̊̊͛͒̑̅͊̈́̈́͂́̏̃̈͌̐̓͐̐͑̿̒̀̾́͗͌̍̂͌̌͌̒͘̕̕̕͠͝͝͝͠͠͠͠

~~~

Remus: Men who use parachutes while skydiving seem gay as fuck to me.

Janus: Relying on another man’s creation to support you when you’re vulnerable is pretty spicy, to be honest.

~~~

Virgil: *Crying* 

Logan: Are you ok? 

Virgil: *Sniffles and wipes his eyes* Yeah, why do you ask?

Logan: Because you have major depressive disorder and tend to feel depressed.

Virgil: Thanks for noticing.

Logan: Um, Do you need a hug...?

Virgil: I think I’d like that. 

Logan: *Attempts to give Virgil a hug* (cAnOn LoGAn iSn’T gOoD aT hUgS, Ok!?)

Roman and Patton: *In the background*

Roman: So PuRE!!!

Patton: So WhOLEsOME!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re welcome for posting some fluff and not the usual random shit 😅


	18. UwU rawr XD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary

Patton: Hey Logan! Do you know what G2G means?

Logan: “Got to go”?

Patton: Nope! It means “Got to grow (As a human bean)”!

Logan: *Sighs* I’m just going to pretend that I didn’t hear that.

~~~

Remus: “I grew out of my dinosaur phase”. Shut up. Your dinosaur phase isn’t something you can “grow out of”. Real adults know that dinosaurs are cool as fuck!

Janus: Says a grown man who acts like a perverted five year old. 

Remus: Hey, I never said I was a grown man.


	19. If this gets 1,000 hits, I’ll post my longest quote!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My friend, Azzy: Wow, your house it big!
> 
> Me: Oh, um, thanks?
> 
> Azzy: My house is so tiny. I’m kinda embarrassed.
> 
> My brother, Fishy (That’s what I call him): Well, F.I.M’s brain is also tiny so you don’t need to be embarrassed.
> 
> Me: *Offended writer noises*
> 
> Also me: But, you do have a point.

Roman: *Reading a paper* Here’s a new aesthetic: Keeping the same tab in your browser for three solid weeks because you’re definitely going to get around to reading and/or acting on whatever’s in it any minute now.

Virgil: This is an personal attack. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else have that one friend with OCD who always makes you close all of you tabs or else they get mad? Nobody? Just me? Ok.


	20. Ok, i was going thru my old papers when i found this:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is an old quote so DON'T JUDGE!

Remus: *Walking towards Patton* I'm on my way, I'm on my way, I'm my way to Ẹ̶̢a̷͎͔̿ṱ̵̆ ̸̘̯͝y̴̫̳͗ơ̶̩̗̾u̸̬͂r̶͇̈́ ̶̡̔ŝ̵͎̈k̴͎̱̐͗į̶̬̎ń̶̺!̸̹͉̏

Patton: *Backing away from Remus* LOGAN, HELP! REMUS HAS A KNIFE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my life, I am not proud I this one.


	21. *Card declines*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just barely thought of this and I still hate it

Roman: *Laughing* Ok, ok, ok, but, what if your card declines at a funeral so they bury you instead?

Virgil: *Laughs* Your card declines at a tattoo shop so they bring out the same paper.

Remus: Your card declines at the bakery so they have you instead.

Janus: Your card declines at the hospital so they give your child to someone else.

Logan: Your card declines at the spa so the chiropractor break your neck. *looks at patton*

Patton: I aM vErY uNcOmFOrTabLE WiTh tHe eNeRgY wE hAvE cReaTeD iN tHe sTuDiO tOdAy-


	22. I'm the imposter 😉 🤫

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would have used the glitter emoji but I'm too lazy to copy and paste it cuz I'm on a computer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is my new favorite!

Remy: WORK, WORK!

Patton: *singing* Depression~!

Remy: WORK, WORK!

Virgil: *singing* Anxiety~!

The twins: And trama!

All of them: *singing* ThE mEnTaL iSsUes! We're looking for a mind at work!

Roman: *singing* Look around! Look around! 

Virgil: *singing* Everyone is going to get therapy!

Remus and Patton: *harmonizing* Therapy!

Patton: *Points to Emile* From the greatest shrink in the world!

Remus: *singing* From the greatest shrink in the world!

Remy: We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal!

Virgil: And when i'm talking to therapist,

Roman: *Points to Remus* Imma tell them to include "crazy" in the sequel!

Remus: MEDS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:
> 
> Thomas: *Lying on his bed* That was impressive but, can I go to sleep now?


	23. StiCkS aNd StOnEs CaN mAkE mE cHoKe-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another old quote

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad to say that this has actually happened.....

Roman, Patton, Virgil and Janus: *Talking about who-knows-what*

Remus: I FOUND A STICK!!!!!

Virgil: Okay....?

Patton: What are you gonna do with it?

Remus: **DEEP THROAT IT!**

Roman: Wow.

Janus: Alright well, have fun..?

Remus: I will! *Inserts the stick into his mouth*

~~_ ***Thirty seconds** _ ~~ _ **later*** _

*Snap*

Patton: What the fwuh?

Virgil: What was that?

Janus: Umm, Remus?

Remus: *Over-dramatically choking in the corner*

Roman: OhMyGodAreYouOk?

Remus: *Instantly stops choking* Yeah, I'm fine.

Virgil: What happened?

Remus: I put the stick so far it snapped in my throat so i choked but, it's ok! **I like being choked.**

Virgil: *Sighs* Oh my god. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna regret posting this in exactly thirty minuets.


	24. Sanders sides as things dudes in my friend group have said but make it ✨Remus-y✨ ⚠This gets a little dirty⚠

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So....I'm just quoting some things my peeps said that reminded me of the duke!
> 
> This is Remus we're talking about but, you ain't getting no warnings!
> 
> ✨Dirty Remus✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been using clean Remus for quite some time now but, NOT ANYMORE!

⚠Read Summary⚠

"I'm going to steal your sexuality!

~~~

"My brain is slower that a box of rocks.''

~~~

"I put the " Ho" in horny!"

~~~

"Nothing can be worse than what I do on a Friday night."

~~~

"*Moans in Japanese*"

~~~

"It's not stealing if you don't get caught!"

~~~

" **DADDY LIQUID**!!"

~~~

"Water can't quench my thirst but, sex can!"

~~~

Imsosorry-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only cultured people will understand:
> 
> Remus and Angel Dust would be an iconic pairing but also the worst pairing.........


	25. 🎶It is two a.m. and i need ✨sleep✨~🎶

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you guys ever lived in a grocery store?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's two am and I have a terrible sense of humor rn 😅 also excuse my typos. like I said, it's two in the morning.

Janus: Does the average man get enough sleep?

Virgil: What is enough sleep?

Roman: What is "The average man"? 

Remus: What is "Does"?

~~~

Thomas: Don't you just love it when your at the store and it starts mini-raining on the vegtables? It's just so cute! 

Nico: At the grocery store, where I used to live, it would play thunder storm noises when they watered the fruits and veggies!

Thomas: Oh, that's so cool!

Logan: *Clearly confused* ....Why did he live in a grocery store?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #NicoIsBeanAndIfYouDon'tThinkSoIWillFightYou


	26. *Insert Jurrasic Park intro here*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's quote is sponsored by @Anxiety(Minnowshadow)! Be sure to check them out later! #MinnowshadowIsPrettyAwsome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠Read Summary⚠

Roman: If a dream is a wish your heart makes, then my wish is to be chased through a trailer park by a t-rex, go into a trailer, then come out with a shotgun and kill the t-rex.

Virgil: Either you recreated Jurrasic Park in an actual trailer park, or you need to lay off the crack before bed.

~later~

Roman: ...And they said "Either you created Jurrasic Park in an actual trailer park or you need to lay off the crack before bed."

Remus:

Roman:

Roman: I mean I haven't even seen Jurrasic Park-

Remus: *Bursts out laughing*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all can recommend quotes in the comments if you want to (If you do, I promise I'll get to them)


	27. Those angry heteros 😒😔 (No offence to the heteros reading this unless you are homophobic.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, IT IS ONE A.M. AND I FOUND THIS FUNNY FOR SOME REASON.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I found the older version of this in my Google drive and.....let's just say....I never wanna read it again.

Roman: A straight girl told me that it was disgusting that I liked guys. A STRAIGHT girl. I was like: "You like guys too, idiot."

Virgil: *Sighs* People these days.

Roman: Honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about this all day but, umm..V̶̧̨̧͕͎͕̟̼̬̩͙̣̜̘̼͓̯͈̝͖̦͚͚̺̯̤̱̯̣͍͗̏̃̔̈́̿͐̓̈́̈́̓̿͐̉̾́͊̎̌̈́̽̇͝S̸̛̛̛̭̱̤͙͔̜̤̭̖̬͈̬̠̟͕͙̝̳͙̺͇͎̬͔̺͓̲̪͂͋̐̂̌̎̓̓̈́̈́͐̇̐̽̈́̅̏͠͠C̶̛͔̤͉̈̒͐̃̄͗̾̒͑̂͆̎̃͌͂͛̈́̿̌̊̚̚͝Ȯ̴̧̧̡̭̭͓͇̻͙̲͕͓̲̣̠͇̘̱͎̖̜͎̞̫̱͉̣̜͈͎̦̲̍͊̄̊̊͘̚͝ ̸̧̢̧̨̛͎̝̹̠͕̬̲̲̩̩̩͔̜̟̩̲̥̻̣͚̭̹̼̽͆̄̾̽̃̀̀̉͊̐̊̑͒̑̐̃̚̚͘͜͝ͅͅD̷̨̧̢̧͕̬̖̜̭͓̖͙͖̳͉̯͆́͗͌̅̅̃̍̈́̈́͛͋̒͐̏̚̚͜͝E̶͓̙͓̻̟̤̬͇̭̲̖͎͍̗̖̱͎̺̹͆̔̌͆̎̿̎͜͜͝͝ͅC̵̤̥̦̠̖̠̬̟͓̘̰̥̋̌̓̿͛̓͒͘͜E̶͎̭͉̜͖͂̆̋̊͑͗̃̒̈̈́̄͒̿̋̀̿̕͜͝͝͝I̷̢̡̨̝̦̬͓̭̣̭̻̥̰̻̪͕̖̭͎̺̮͈̰͎̯̹͖̼͐̀̏̌͋͑̐̊́̇̀̀̑̑̅͆̓͒̾̒͜ͅͅT̴͉͖̱̭͓͖̗̤̬̟̦̗̦͎̫̘͚̪̯̳͓͚͗͗͒̎͐̄͐͆͜͜͝ͅͅ ̸̨̩̘̖͈̮̺̪̝͙̦̮̫̙͈̥̒̈́̀̓̍̈́̈́̒͒͛͗̚  
> Btw, happy Halloween! What are you guys being this year? (I might post some Halloween quotes later today but, if I don't, it's because I'm busy, like always.)


	28. Imma bout to ✨expose✨ my ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayo! I have a Tumblr account! Plz follow me (But only if you want too). Here's a list of reasons od why you should follow me:
> 
> •You will find even more quotes!
> 
> •You will get hints for new stories and collabs!
> 
> •Y'all can interact with me even more!
> 
> •The latest tea and theories!
> 
> •It's free!
> 
> My Tumblr is Flextape-the-plant (Only certain people will understand)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠Read the summary⚠?

Remus: *Throws a paper at Roman*

Roman: What the heck? *Unfolds the paper* "I like your cut g". Remus, my name's not G, it's Roman. Wait, where'd you go -

Remus: *Hits him in the head with his immakillyoustick*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm scared of warning signs. 😔😥 I hate this emoji:⚠. 😅


	30. Halloween but make it (platonic) ✨Dukexiety✨

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, but, like, what if the sides dressed up as each other? I mean, they all look the same anyways so.....it would be kinda funny....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, in case any of you get confused, if I put "---" between quotes, it means it's been 15-30 minutes since the last quote. (Yes, they're trick-or-treating. Why? Because why not?)

⚠Read Summary⚠

Remus: Hey! Guess what?

Virgil: Huh?

Remus: Imma kidnap you now!

Virgil: Wait-

Remus: *Puts a sack over his head*

Virgil: *Muffled shouting*

\---

Virgil: WHY'D YOU KIDNAP ME!?

Remus: Because, Janus was being boring!

Virgil: And I'm not?

Remus: You are but, I've missed you! It's been over a year since I've last saw you.

Virgil: Not quite but, ok, biss.

Remus: Hey!

Virgil: *grabs his arm* C'mon.

Remus: Where are we going?

Virgil: We're going back to the others.

Remus: No! 

Virgil: Yes!

Remus: No!

Virgil: Yes!

Remus: Virgil, please, just trust me.

Virgil: With what? Three years ago, you lit the kitchen on fire with apple juice. APPLE JUICE! That's a liquid! Liquids aren't flammable!

Remus: I have my ways, ok?

Virgil: Still, how?

Remus: A magician never reveals his secrets!

Virgil: Oh my god.

Remus: Just, let's go. *attempts to drag Virgil the other direction*

Virgil: Fineeeeee.

\---

Remus: Ooooh! I got cotton candy!

VIrgil: Can I have some? 

Remus: Sure! *Hands him a chunk of cotton candy*

Virgil: Thanks. *Starts nibbling on it*

Remus: You're so slow.

Virgil: *Immediately Starts choking on it*

Remus: Dude, how are you choking on that?

Virgil: It's...so...wispy...

Remus: No it's not.

Virgil: Yes it is.

Remus: *Starts choking too* Nope, you're right.

Virgil: Told ya!

Remus: *Laughs*

\--- 

Virgil: Ok, we should start heading back.

Remus: Yeah.

* Something gets thrown against the sidewalk and explodes*

Virgil: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

Remus: I DON'T KNOW! *looks around* SOMEONE'S THROWING WATER BALLOONS!

Virgil: *Starts running* C'MON!

Remus: *Dodges a water ballons* SHIT!

Some rando: Don't swear!

Virgil: I'M SORRY, I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE GETTING WET AND SOME IDIOT IS THROWING WATER BALLOONS!

Virgil: *Trips over a rock and sprains his foot* FUCK!

Remus: YOU OK!?

Virgil: NO, BUT, IT'S OK. GO ON WITHOUT ME! 

Remus: NO! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!

Virgil: JUST GO!

Remus: NO! *Turns around and picks up Virgil* I GOT YOU!

Virgil: MOVE! THERE'S ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Remus: *Dodges another water balloon*

Virgil: KEEP RUNNING! WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF RANGE!

Remus: OK! *Starts running even faster*

Virgil: OK! THEY CAN'T GET US ANYMORE! You can set me down now.

Remus: Alroit. *Just straight (gay) up drops him into the sidewalk*

Virgil: Ow. *Attempts to stand up but ends up falling down again* Shoot.

Remus: Need help?

Virgil: No.

Remus: You sure?

Virgil: Yes, I'm sure!

Remus: Alroit.

Virgil: *Tries to stand up but falls down, again*

Virgil: *Sighs* Help me.

Remus: What's the magic word?

Virgil: I am not saying that.

Remus: Well, then, I'm not helping you.

Virgil: Ugh. Please help me.

Remus: That's better. *Proceeds to pick Virgil up again*

Virgil: I hate you.

\---

Remus: *Screeching at the top of his lungs for no reason*

A random person: Is that Remus and Virgil?

Virgil: *Stutters* U-uh, no! *Realizes that he just lied* Run!

Remus: *Starts booking it with Virgil in his hands*

Virgil: Dude, why were you screeching?

Remus: Oh, I realized that I was bottling up some emotions so, I decided to let them out.

Virgil: Bruh.

\---

Remus: What does cum taste like?

Virgil: Stop. Just stop.

Remus: Hey, I'm just asking a question here. Am I not allowed to ask questions anymore? 

Virgil: No. 

Remus: You're no fun.

Virgil: If Roman was here, he'd say: "Well, at least I'm not ugly like you!"

Remus: Yeah. He would.

Remus: I kinda feel bad for ditching Janus.

Virgil: I kinda feel bad for ditching The other even tho I didn't really have a choice.

Remus: Well, you did say you hated them.

Virgil: Yeah, Four. Years. Ago.

Virgil: Plus, they hated me too. Except for Patton.

Remus: Well, maybe it was because you were allways like: "I'm so depressed and nobody understands me".

Virgil: Hey!

Virgil: You're right tho. 

Remus: *laughs*

\---

Virgil: Hey, want my candy corn? 

Remus: Sure, but, why?

Virgil: I don't like candy corn.

Remus: *Gasps* YOU DON'T LIKE CANDY CORN?

Virgil: No. It tastes like rocks.

Remus: No, it doesn't!

Virgil: Yes, it does!

Remus: No, it doesn't!

Virgil: Yes, it does!

Remus: No!

Virgil: Yes!

Remus: No!

Virgil: Yes!

Remus: No!

Virgil: Yes!

Remus: No!

Virgil: Remus, it's ok to be wrong.

Remus: But I'm not wrong! You are!

Virgil: No, I'm not!

Remus: Yes, you are!

Virgil: You know what, I'm not gonna fight with you anymore. Just know that I'm right and you're wrong.

Remus: You can say whatever you wanna say but it'll never be true.

Virgil: *hisses*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am here to confirm that all of this happened. 
> 
> I swear, this took me like, 30 minutes to an hour to write all of this. Mainly because I ✨procrastinated✨ for a while but that's not the point here. I hOpE yOu'Re hApPy.


	31. HAPPY TRANSGENDER AWARENESS WEEK! :>

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You smol children aren't worthy of an acceptable summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely not Sanders Sides related but, uhhh, DON'T try the smoothie flavored Skittles™. They taste like baby food. 😔✋

Roman: CAN I GET A “HELL YEAH!?!

Logan: I don’t know, can you?

Roman: *Sigh* May I get a “Hell yeah”?

*setting changes to a classroom*

Logan: You should of gotten a “Hell yeah” during the break, before class started.

Roman: UGH. I didn’t need a “Hell yeah” during the break tho.

Logan: Well, I guess you’re going to have to wait.

Roman: FiNe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	32. Legit just three lines of disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Srsly, please follow my tumblr ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quote because I haven't updated on a while :>

Virgil: I hate myself.

Janus: Don't worry, if I were you, I'd hate myself too!

Virgil: *Offended Raccoon Noises™*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✨Y'all✨


	33. ¥^¥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🐝😵

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (@whatisthisreally) Hai!

Logan: *Traps a wasp under a cup*

Remus: *Suddenly appears and sets down two more cups* 

Roman: No...

Remus: *starts to shuffle them*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, it'd better if Remus just taped the wasp to a piece of paper, got some headphones, and started playing WAP (The 24 hour version) right next to it.


	34. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Cries because I only get two or three thing in my inbox each week* CaN yOu gUys SpAm mE WiTh rAndOm sHiT??

Roman: Patton, I’m sad.

Patton: *Hugs him* Come here, it’s gonna be okay.

Roman: Virgil, i’m sad.

Virgil: *nodding* mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is how Virgil shows his love.


	35. Roman is still sad ✋😔

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, I'm looking they my recent emojis and trying to find some for the chapter note and then I realize the these two emojis: 😏🍆 Were right next to each other so.....I'm very ✨uncomfy✨ 😅
> 
> (I apologize to all the Ace's and Aro's that had to read that and understood what it meant)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😅✌

Roman: Virgillllllllllllllllll! Can you give me a compliment?

Virgil: Why?

Roman: I want to feel loved and valid.

Virgil: Well...*Thinks for a second* Ok, I have one.

Roman: YaY!

Virgil: Roman, your I.Q. is bigger that your forehead and that's saying something considering your forehead is pretty big!

Roman: Aww, tha- _**wAiT.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how Virgil shows his love! 
> 
> (Might delete this later)

**Author's Note:**

> I give you all permission to spam #ExistanceIsResistance in the comments


End file.
